Music from the 90's was the ambient noise of choice to cap the evening of a breakfast for dinner night at a friends house. I didn't think too much of the music at first but before long I was deep in thought of these memories that flooded in. Flood. Jars of Clay. Suddenly the gates opened and that rush of being 15, questioning religion, loathing my own generation, and dumped into a weekend long bible camp filled with teenagers overtook my memories.
I snap out of it.
Flash forward to the present and I'm learning to make paracord knots with a friend of mine. It was good food, good beer, and good times at their house that night. As always, I leave thinking about what a great niche I've gotten myself into...
That night I had another one of those "high school" dreams. They are almost always nightmares but tonight was different. The dream was very...human, corporeal, and real. The overall state of the dream felt like we were all adults but stuck in the bodies of our former selves. We were still our own individual personalities unique only to ourselves but we treated each other with so much more advancement. Yes there were still skirmishes, infatuations, and inner demons but it was met with the minds of adults. Maybe this was how high school actually was. Figuring out how to deal with problems like an adult while still trying to figure out who we were in our inexperienced youth.
Here we are now, 10 years later. Have we changed? No. I don't believe in change. You can't grow up a flower and turn into a butterfly. Instead we grow and become more of who we were meant to be. Maximizing ourselves to be our fullest potential, we grow into ourselves. Some people had all the right elements for growth...but never without their obstacles.
Me?
I grew up an ugly duckling: quiet, distant, and weird. Never thinking myself pretty, sexy, or cool enough to fit in with the crowd. I've had my bullies and my beatings; slammed into lockers and sucker punched in the gut. I let people walk all over me; pretend I never heard those harsh comments. Even from my own sister, who used words like a battle axe and knew exactly where to strike to bring me down the hardest. She never could keep me grounded though...But it still hurt. I've cried many nights grasping for strength that never seemed to come. Tears and time do heal the body and with it came an inner strength. I realize this now. As bad as they made me feel, they only ever really gave me a bad day and not ONCE did they ever make me feel bad about myself.
The only time I ever felt bad about myself was when I couldn't do something. Or wouldn't. I had my weak moments. I can handle beatings and public humiliation because that's just how passive I was and learned to just deal with it. But it still pains me to this day that I couldn't stand up for others. I've watched as friends were humiliated and bullied by fellow classmates who hardly knew them at all. The friends I knew so well would cower or cry and I would just stand there. Outwardly, I did nothing while a million things raged on inside my head and the perfect opportunity to do something slowly slipped away.
I have shaken those demons which is why I am pursuing this business dream of mine today. I have the strength and capacity to create something that can help others. It is my sole purpose to be an advocate for the metalsmiths of Grand Rapids and to help them become everything they want to be as an artist. First and foremost, this will be a place where they will be amongst fellow peers- all channeling down different paths ...but never alone.
I got your back.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Tea: The Perfect Motivator
and Procrastinator...
Today already arrives with bleak beginnings and it's not just the onset of a dreary drizzle of another cold autumn day that beckons me back to the flannel sheets of our warm bed. Matt forgot to keep the drapes open again which means my usual waking hour of 8am was met with pitch black and emptiness. Every instinct of mine told me to go back to bed and slowly wake up with the sun again. A do-over if you will. However, my dog has different thoughts about me going back to sleep. He'll pout, whine, and proceed to scratch his collar which he knows to produce jingling noises from all the tags. He enjoys that trick and knows it's one that will get me out of bed in the morning.
Today I said goodbye to a calm awakening and decided to just stay up. There are things to do and God knows, I never know where to start. Every morning is a battle. I can choose to do absolutely nothing for an entire day, which I don't really want to do. Or I can choose to work on a range of things that I, unfortunately, don't really want to do either...
Good thing I'm very self-motivated or I'd really be getting nowhere.
It seems the one sure thing I always accomplish every morning and don't think twice about...is breakfast. A primal function based solely on the need to feed. French toast and two eggs. Sunny side up. And with that, the easiest part of my day is already done. I grumble, groan, and shuffle about the house some more.
I know I should work on my business plan...
So, I go to the fabric store where I procrastinate further by working on other things that need to get done...If that makes any sense at all. A friend of mine wanted me to make a jacket that resembled Corrick's from her comic called Plume which just got picked up by Devils Due Publishing. So exciting!! It's going to print and she is promoting in New York at the ComicCon. She gave me about a week to make a jacket for her. It was short notice and I had a long week in the cheese caves. Needless to say it couldn't get done in time but she still wanted the jacket for further promoting. I also pay dire attention to details. It's exhausting. The right color...the right fabric; not really finding either, I left and went to another fabric store where I was met with further disappointment. Realizing I would not be satisfied with what they had, I knew I would have to hand dye to make it just right. Ugh. I gave up and fled.
Thinking further about my business plan I decided to...return pop cans.
It's still for my business.
Don't judge me.
Sometimes I forget the simple things that always got me through those awful term papers back in college. A big ol' cup of hot tea and the best seat in the house. So here I am: motivated enough to sit down and work on something...that still isn't my business plan. I'm getting there.
I promise.
I have tea now!
Today already arrives with bleak beginnings and it's not just the onset of a dreary drizzle of another cold autumn day that beckons me back to the flannel sheets of our warm bed. Matt forgot to keep the drapes open again which means my usual waking hour of 8am was met with pitch black and emptiness. Every instinct of mine told me to go back to bed and slowly wake up with the sun again. A do-over if you will. However, my dog has different thoughts about me going back to sleep. He'll pout, whine, and proceed to scratch his collar which he knows to produce jingling noises from all the tags. He enjoys that trick and knows it's one that will get me out of bed in the morning.
Today I said goodbye to a calm awakening and decided to just stay up. There are things to do and God knows, I never know where to start. Every morning is a battle. I can choose to do absolutely nothing for an entire day, which I don't really want to do. Or I can choose to work on a range of things that I, unfortunately, don't really want to do either...
Good thing I'm very self-motivated or I'd really be getting nowhere.
It seems the one sure thing I always accomplish every morning and don't think twice about...is breakfast. A primal function based solely on the need to feed. French toast and two eggs. Sunny side up. And with that, the easiest part of my day is already done. I grumble, groan, and shuffle about the house some more.
I know I should work on my business plan...
So, I go to the fabric store where I procrastinate further by working on other things that need to get done...If that makes any sense at all. A friend of mine wanted me to make a jacket that resembled Corrick's from her comic called Plume which just got picked up by Devils Due Publishing. So exciting!! It's going to print and she is promoting in New York at the ComicCon. She gave me about a week to make a jacket for her. It was short notice and I had a long week in the cheese caves. Needless to say it couldn't get done in time but she still wanted the jacket for further promoting. I also pay dire attention to details. It's exhausting. The right color...the right fabric; not really finding either, I left and went to another fabric store where I was met with further disappointment. Realizing I would not be satisfied with what they had, I knew I would have to hand dye to make it just right. Ugh. I gave up and fled.
Thinking further about my business plan I decided to...return pop cans.
It's still for my business.
Don't judge me.
Sometimes I forget the simple things that always got me through those awful term papers back in college. A big ol' cup of hot tea and the best seat in the house. So here I am: motivated enough to sit down and work on something...that still isn't my business plan. I'm getting there.
I promise.
I have tea now!
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Autumn Blend Soda
How can you choose between a caramel apple and a pumpkin pie?
I really wanted to do a pumpkin soda this season but was worried the pumpkin juice would come off too flat, vegetal, and tannic once it was carbonated. Also, I'd have to throw in a bunch of sugar to make it sweet and some form of acid to bring out all the flavors of pumpkin. hmm...
Then came the caramel apple soda idea but it quickly fizzled with the thought of adding caramel to something that was already naturally sweet. But the tartness....
The final idea was a soda with some of the best stuff this season has to offer! After all, who doesn't enjoy the nice warm, nutty, and spicy notes of a sweet pumpkin pie? Can you think of a better way of enjoying the season with a hot cup of spiced cider and a crispy, crunchy, and tart caramel apple?
Nope.
And for good measure, I decided to throw in some carrot juice!
Hooray vegetables!!!
Now for the ingredients...I was able to get my hands on a whole gallon of pure apple cider for $6.50. Not too shabby considering the unfortunate shortage of apples this season due to the early blossom and then immediate frost. Sadness : (
Tons of pumpkins though! Picked up some pie pumpkins at the farmers market on a busy and bustling Saturday! I could have juiced my own carrots, but I decided to use Bolthouse Farms 100% carrot juice. It saved me a step.
Here is the recipe:
1 gallon apple cider
3 cinnamon sticks; 3-5 inches each
1tsp. ground cinnamon
Nutmeg
Some allspice berries
3 star anise
2 cups carrot juice
1 inch ginger root sliced
3 cubes of ginger (I used Ginger People)
Juice of 2 pie pumpkins (or 7 cups pumpkin juice)
* I took what was left of the pulp and further strained that. probably got another cup out of it)
I threw all of the ingredients in a stainless steel pot and let it simmer away for about 20-30 minutes. I added a sliced vanilla bean at some point. Then, I turned off the heat and added a nice splash of homemade vanilla extract.
At this stage it looked like a nice orange brown slurry of frothy goodness. It was sweet enough where I didn't have to add any other sugars. There was also a nice balance between the tartness of the apples and the nutty and vegetable-like flavors of the pumpkin. To be honest, I wouldn't mind seeing more pumpkin in this but I didn't feel like chopping, seeding, and grinding down another squash.
After that, I just strained as much of the spices as I could and dumped it in a nice clean Corny keg where it will be carbonated!
If you don't have access to CO2 and a Corny keg, there is always the yeast method. Don't worry, it's purely just for carbonating a soda, there will hardly be any alcohol!
I'll be posting updates on this soda to see how well it goes. I may even bottle it...
I really wanted to do a pumpkin soda this season but was worried the pumpkin juice would come off too flat, vegetal, and tannic once it was carbonated. Also, I'd have to throw in a bunch of sugar to make it sweet and some form of acid to bring out all the flavors of pumpkin. hmm...
Then came the caramel apple soda idea but it quickly fizzled with the thought of adding caramel to something that was already naturally sweet. But the tartness....
The final idea was a soda with some of the best stuff this season has to offer! After all, who doesn't enjoy the nice warm, nutty, and spicy notes of a sweet pumpkin pie? Can you think of a better way of enjoying the season with a hot cup of spiced cider and a crispy, crunchy, and tart caramel apple?
Nope.
And for good measure, I decided to throw in some carrot juice!
Hooray vegetables!!!
Now for the ingredients...I was able to get my hands on a whole gallon of pure apple cider for $6.50. Not too shabby considering the unfortunate shortage of apples this season due to the early blossom and then immediate frost. Sadness : (
Tons of pumpkins though! Picked up some pie pumpkins at the farmers market on a busy and bustling Saturday! I could have juiced my own carrots, but I decided to use Bolthouse Farms 100% carrot juice. It saved me a step.
Here is the recipe:
1 gallon apple cider
3 cinnamon sticks; 3-5 inches each
1tsp. ground cinnamon
Nutmeg
Some allspice berries
3 star anise
2 cups carrot juice
1 inch ginger root sliced
3 cubes of ginger (I used Ginger People)
Juice of 2 pie pumpkins (or 7 cups pumpkin juice)
* I took what was left of the pulp and further strained that. probably got another cup out of it)
 |
| Not too much waste from 2 pumpkins. I'm sure I could have used it for a pie or beer but I don't feel too bad about it going to the compost! |
I threw all of the ingredients in a stainless steel pot and let it simmer away for about 20-30 minutes. I added a sliced vanilla bean at some point. Then, I turned off the heat and added a nice splash of homemade vanilla extract.
At this stage it looked like a nice orange brown slurry of frothy goodness. It was sweet enough where I didn't have to add any other sugars. There was also a nice balance between the tartness of the apples and the nutty and vegetable-like flavors of the pumpkin. To be honest, I wouldn't mind seeing more pumpkin in this but I didn't feel like chopping, seeding, and grinding down another squash.
After that, I just strained as much of the spices as I could and dumped it in a nice clean Corny keg where it will be carbonated!
If you don't have access to CO2 and a Corny keg, there is always the yeast method. Don't worry, it's purely just for carbonating a soda, there will hardly be any alcohol!
I'll be posting updates on this soda to see how well it goes. I may even bottle it...
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